11:12AM

I need pictures for my art work. My model moved away. :( ~cries~
If you would like to donate some snapshots of yourselves for art, PLEASE let me know, and/ or email me the shots at

scottishfire69@hotmail.com


I will totaly give you the finished copy of my work. This is not for selling it is just for my relaxing art needs...haha....
You can sell them if you want. Keep them, hate them love them, it is up to you. I can use almost any picture. distored, ugly, lovely, sureal, odd angles... you send it as long as it is yours to send.
THANKS!!!

2:21PM

The reality of me

I have a cold steak in my lip. . .Not to fit in,
but to feel the hardness of me. My lips
once soft and doey are now hardened with
cold steal shape to meet my beauty.
Real beauty. Real me.
Cold metal on soft flesh. Kinda like the
cut you get from a diamond.
Like a scratchy tag in your favorite shirt,
or caffeine in your valium.

I am the courtesan of my own hands as the
maharajah can only watch from behind
glass.
This is where my beauty is.

So here I sit, half tarnished and half
shining. . ..

I will masterbate this for a while

2:19PM

This is from "go fish" and a brillant piece

"I had this great fear that the moment we where supposed to meet would be thwarted.
Maybe it already has been. I think I saw her on the subway yesterday, I saw her and I Thought we where supposed to meet yesterday on the bus, she was supposed to sit down next to me, spill your soda on me and we where supposed to laugh. Make a game of cleaning up where we touch each other more then necessary, coincidently get off at the same stop, get too talking, and then there is a moment where she says “well” like she feels dumb because we have been talking like we’ve been old friends, and that’s when I realize how excellent she is in every way, and we kiss right there in the street and it’s a moment we talk about for years later, how we never really believed in love at first sight until we met each other.
Instead some fat man got in the way. She was rushing for the bus and he waddled in front of her, she tried to get around him, spilled the drink she was supposed to spill in my egger lap on his indifferent shoulder. Then she missed the bus, which had me on it, with an empty seat next to me. Oblivious, thinking about something like the texture of raisins or scraping off the chunk of gum on the seat in front of me.
In fact I am sure this is what happened. The whole fiasco probably threw us way out of wack. Now our paths won’t cross until years later when she’s forgotten she’s a dike, and she’ll move in next door to me, and I’ll have a painful crush on her. And she’ll be sitting on her porch with her boyfriend and she’ll wave to me. I’ll be getting my mail and I’ll get a little wilt in my stomach when she waves, and I’ll trip over my cat, and stumble in a kind of three stooges way, and she’ll look away like she’s embarrassed for me, and I’ll go inside and feel really dumb.
Then her boyfriend will think I seem like I would be fun, and one morning when we bump into each other in front of my house, he’ll invite me to a shindig they are having.
I’ll go and not know anyone, and sit in a corner, and play with pistachio shells, and give each woman there own makeover in my head. “What if she wore baggy jeans?” “She’d be really hot if she cut off that perm and stopped giggling so much.”
Then dream girl will introduce me to someone and say “This is Matt, she’s my neighbor” Then I’ll say “No actually it’s Max. Max, like in ‘Where the wild things are’.”
Then I’ll walk home saying “It’s Max, it’s Max”. My name is Max. We where supposed to meet on the bus two years ago. At this very moment we are supposed to be sitting on our couch together reading playing footsy absentmindedly. My names Max, I want to borrow you T-shirts and wake you up when I have bad dreams. Burst into a smile when we’re fighting because you’re too adorable. Pinch your butt when you are walking up the stairs in front of me. My name is Max; think of a name that only you call me. Make it something you’d be embarrassed to call me accidentally in public. Fall in love with me. We where supposed to meet so long ago. We’re way behind.
It’s Max. My name is Max."

2:17PM - I love this....

Maybe I will sit here and eat my green eggs and ham, and wear only my fuzzy green and purple socks. Not the white and red ones you like so much.
Maybe the next time I do the dishes I will paint them in odd colors and smash them on the floor, glue them where they fall and we could have a glass floor. We would have to walk softly so that we would not get hurt.
I would cut my foot everyday on that floor, and bleed everywhere. You would not notice the blood, but you would tell me that you love what I have done with the place. Then you would grab some food from my hands, not letting your feet touch the glass covered kitchen floor, figuring that I am in there anyway, why hurt your feet.
I will shrug it off, not think of the pain till later when it is more convenient to deal with it. By this time, it hurts to put on my White and red socks, and I can’t eat.
I go for a walk to the corner store to ask the scary man behind the counter what time it is. He tells me it is one in the afternoon, but I know he is lying because I can see the moon light beaming in the window at me.
I walk home around midnight, and the door to the house is chain locked. You always try to keep the bad people out at night. I bang and bang on the front door till I get a splinter in my palm, and so I whimper about it for a minute and kick the door for hurting me.
I walk back up to the store where I ask the scarey man behind the counter for some tweezers. He does not have any but he points at a lady sitting in a booth eating a honey bun and drinking coffee. I go and sit across from her and she takes my hand in her sticky honey bun hands and starts to read my palm, telling me that my love line is long and I will be loved till I die.
I shake my head at her and tell her it is just a splinter and all I need are some tweezers to remove it.
She laughs at me and snorts through her nose as she walks out and leaves me sitting there. Then a blue jay lands beside me, it being now early morn and we know how birds like to play. She looks at my hand and pulls out my splinter. I thank the blue jay and together we walk to a different home. A home with no doors that do not swing and fuzzy carpet with wasteful paper plates. No glass. I did not want to do the damn dishes anyway.

10:34PM

Head aches can bring about the most unusual conceptions. When placing my palms over my ears and bending my head down, the sound of my blood pumping through my body grows loud and almost soothing...
very surreal and never noticed until my head is hurting worse then it ever had before....
This reminds me of the louis. Crisis somehow.
Hmmm.....
Still watching this group's cam. Makes me feel more helpful. That at least I can be here to talk to them (even though about 1,000,000 people are now doing the same thing). It makes me feel better. Wish Chris would find some net and give an IM.... Bugging me not hearing from him. Although I am thinking positive, it still is hard not to wonder the worst with all the messed up media.
Need to play more UT 2004.... post more in a few...

9:12AM - FYI helpping!!!

Just FYI
My store is collecting goods as well as monetary donations for the people in Lous.
We are taking clothing, blankets, shoes, toys down to the people probably on tues. sept 6th.
If you would like to donate to this cause we are on the corner of Tryon rd and hwy 70 near garner. Behind the burger king. “Tryon Hill Thrift Store”
We ask that you label the boxes “Katrina” so that they go to the right place.
Thanks guys

8:49AM

The real deal people.....

like anne frank but live action...
These men are on my hero list.
Check them out support them.... they are trapped on a roof in New orl.
They have been brocasting from web cam..... live REAL non news edited.... no reporters.....



http://www.livejournal.com/users/interdictor/

1:59PM

I AM GOING TO FIRE EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn it!!!!
I could run this store better by my fucking self!!!!
Why did I quit smoking again....
Oh yeah, so that I could save a lung, live longer....
Gain wait, lose pateints....
hmmm......
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrr

6:36PM - Stolen moment

We are divided by oceans in your silent world
Not soul mates parted by land and sea but lovers...
Lovers separated for the good of mankind,
Separated because our passion would be too great to live through
Nothing would be gained other then the friction of heat between to souls
No words could be spoken to describe it, and no words would be heard
Envy would begin and end around us
People everywhere would strive for this and fail
Fail because nothing could compare to us
Anarchy would begin and a world of our own would be created
Artist would weep at the site of their work compared to us
War would be forgotten, and duels remembered

So for now, we are parted by sea and left with only this, what we have
Not a love that leaks children and luxuries of a happy home

But a passionate semi tragic tale
Of our very own... a
Stolen moment

9:10AM

One person's eyes can capture my mind for a day. A day and a half. This person is not special in my life or significant, but their eyes stayed on the edge of my memory, at the corner of my sight all day yesterday and even this morning.
It is amazing how captivating some people's eyes can be.
I am in no way connected to this person and yet.... They have effected the course of my life in the slightest way. Truly amazing.

9:28PM

8:41PM

To have sex with this one beautiful girl would be like having a tragic sex. When I have sex it is like taking someone into my soul and absorbing all their passions for that brief time when we are connected.
Her soul is so conquered that I think that she would only bring me to tears when held her. But what a sweet tragedy it would be.
I will ponder that....

8:33PM

To all,

Ok, I am in Greensboro for the night at whitneys and Kat’s. So.... where should you be???... hmm... hmmm....haha.. Come see me!! Please!
Haha.
Love Stephie

11:29PM

Sometimes it is the simple sweet things that can make you smile




So thank you Matt

6:21PM

Trying to decide if being worshiped (so to speak) is something that you should be proud of or scared of. The slight delight in knowing that you are in someone's thoughts all the time kinda turns me on... But yet... there is a something that still makes it kinda creepy.

The thought of helping someone out of low self esteem by making them feel their own self worth also turns me on... Damn I am starting to feel like a light switch.
Anyway.,
Can't I just love everyone?????

9:35PM

I am alone in the dark

The people near me are concerned only with themselves or they are emotionaly inatiquate

My great aunt is dieing of liver canser. She is losing her mind so fast that in two days she is estimated to not even remember who I am. In one week she should be dead.

This I was told while I was at work. While a dirty drunk asked me to reduce the price on a pair of pants and my dock man sat on his but smoking a ciggarette, that I can't have, while I move a sleeper sofa, I here the voice on the phone say, "hospas has moved into her house and she has one week too live at most."

I felt like upchucking all over the drunk mans shoes before he could do it for himself later. I felt like bitch slapping that damn cigerette out of my dock mans' lazy ass mouth and taking a big long drag before telling him he was worthless and firing him.

My sister only wants to talk about how scared everyone is that she might have canser and how much better she knew me aunt that anyone else, and my Dads' girlfriend ranks higher to him then a conversation with me.
And David is asleep.
I feel like thrusting my head through this computer and watching the techno color sparks fly
I feel like lying in the middle of my codusac for the night
I feel like nothing
I feel like everything
I keep thinking "what if my grandma forgets who I am, what is my Grampa does"
I feel like taking a pencil and eraseing myself
I need and acme hole

11:54PM

I hate pussy snippers in counter-strike. They camp they snipe...grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
terds...
grrrrrrrrrrrr

9:58PM

Call my name
I can feel your voice in my veins
I want to tie you down and feel you claw too me

1:38PM